If you know my Dad...

Then you also know it is very hard for him to open up. He had a rough life and living with my mother, who I think broke his heart, hurt him very much. Anyway, we have not had many seriously discussions in my life. We have had some but I have had things on my mind that I needed to ask and figure out how to do it delicately. So here it goes I am going to spill my heart out to the internet world.

1) Why did you leave Dad. He quietly answered that he thought my mother was in love with someone else. He had gone through it before and did not want to do it again.

He was referring to someone else when I was about 9 years ago. I remember that time and how sad my Dad was.

This led him to tell me that he did fight for us in the divorce and then my mother got so out of whack he was scared that she would lose it and hurt us.

My mother would scream at my brother and I tell us that my Dad did not love us and was not even fighting for us. When I was 18 one of the first things I did was go down to city records and asked for my parents divorce documents. I am not sure if the women was suppose to even allow me to see them (I am sure that it was ok on some front) but I remember the look on her face when she brought it out (and the file was very thick) and told me to have a seat and take my time. While she could not make copies of it she would let me read as long as I wanted. Of course what I found in that file was he fought tooth and nail for us. Whatever the reason we got awarded to my mother.

I did not have the guts to ask what happened this time.

2) Dad what do you want me to do when you die. Now mind you my Dad is only going to be 60. Not that old, but I am dealing with a wife that is not my mother and they now go to a Catholic church and my father raise me to be Mormon. Can you even imagine to conflict? He said he did not care. Do you want a military funeral. What do you want? Still same answer, don't care.

A few nights later he came and said I thought about what you said. I do not want heroic measures. When it is time for me to go I want to go. I will draw up papers, notarize it and send it off to you. So if that happens, you take care of it and me.

OK for my Dad that was HUGE. I have a direction to go for.

3) He had many conversations with DH. One of which was how much he loves his wife. But I really got to see it. See Dad's DW and I have not really talked much. See for me it is too hard. She looks A LOT like my mother. I freaked out the first time I met her. I went to the wedding. I accidentally hurt her feelings but not addressing a Christmas card to her and Dad.

But when he called her, his WHOLE demeanor changed. He was like a teenage kid. It was adorable. I need to take more time to get to know her.

So anyway, that was a lot of my discovery these past two weeks. I am off to mail a thank you card to Dad's DW and make sure that she know that I want her out here the next time too :)