I am not even sure what to say.
I am overwhelmed with life. Really. I am beginning to wonder if I am losing it slowly.
I work in a business where the worst part of the year is 4th quarter. I think I barely made it. Well, we brought the teenager a car, she got her permit. we fixed up the car. We celebrated our 19th anniversary. The little one, who is not so little got involved with colorguard and had strange practices, times and lengths. Then a friend came to work part time with me and I thought this is gonna be easy. Then my car died, Dh had knee surgery and I don’t think I was truly ready for it. I really did not think I was gonna have to do everything. But we survived that, thank goodness for the girls, a few dear friends and some family.
But here is what really pissed me off. So we go to this big church. Yeah we have not been good at going for over a year, but people from there are on facebook and could see what was going on. NOT one of them asked if there was anything they could do. My true friends stepped up and helped. I have brought countless dinners, nursed people back to health, etc. Not ONE could help. Wait I take that back someone randomly stopped by, then my christmas tree was pulled out and the next day the lawn was mowed. I am so very very grateful for that. Really.
Then I had to put the cat down 2 days before Christmas. That SUCKED. I still miss the damn cat. I cant get up in the morning, take a bath, lay down without missing her.
Christmas was great and I was well taking care of. Even my my work that gave me and awesome bonus and raise. I was shocked. Just when I thought, ok I am done here, they thank me. Saved them, I will tell you.
DH is on the mend and we are back to the usual craziness of water polo and colorguard.
But I am so tired. I am overwhelmed. Loved ones keep having people die around them and other then the cat I keep wonder what now?
It felt better just to say it.
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