Aleksei

As I sit here there are tears streaming down my face. It has been a rough day….

Aleksei is the child of our dear friends, he was born at 24 weeks of gestation. Mom's water broke and it has been up and down since October 26th.

Aleksei has had some setbacks. While he has not had PDA (a heart thing) he has, had this week the intestine set back. He had a hole in his intestines and the had to put the bag thing in it for what could be about 3 to 6 months. He has 8 days of rest before this happened. Eight days to gather his strength. He did really well that night. It was very optimistic. His mom and dad have been very hopefully and trying so hard to focus on the positive. That was also the night his mom found out she was having the beginning signs of mastitis, the nurse there at the hospital are so good, they called her dr and begged him to call in a prescriptions so they could fill it and so she could stay by Aleksei’s side. This was the day I made his sign for his door. Mom was looking forward to him finally having a name sign. This was Thursday I believe.

Today they did his brain scan. When he was born there was some brain bleeding. They rate it from 1 to 5, 1 being the best. And there is a number for each side. Today that number was up to 3 on each side. Today is when the CRUSHING reality came crashing in. Today has been the down side to all of this. Everything was outlines, including please start making arrangements for Aleksei because the possibly is there that he may not make it through the week. And at the same time he was brought up from 50% of living to 60%. Also the chances went up of him having mental problems if he does pull through. Everyone at this point will take whatever we can get. Normal or not. We just want to love him so much, we want to hold him, touch him and we want him to be well, in whatever form that is.

To make this all harder, the baby next door went back to Heavenly Father. That was the most awful thing I have EVER witnessed. This poor dear family. There was SOOOOO much sadness. This was happening when I went up. I picked up on all this sadness and death and PANICKED! I stayed with Aleksei as long as I could. He was so agitated. He felt it too. They had to sedate him more. I went to DH and just sobbed and told him that he had to go be with the dad. (Mom had to go pump).

My heart is aching. I wish I could make it all better.

Why do bad things (and I am not ever sure bad is the right word) happen to GOOD people? They have suffered more in the past 11 days then we have even thought of suffering in our 11 years of parenting. My heart is heavy. I can just cry and sob to Heavenly Father.